frustrations....UGH!.....peace

that half of everything i own is scattered between cars, old rentals, and my sisters' closets; financial aid paperwork and requesting MORE student loans; that there are no REAL people on the other end of any service call - i'm not trying to bother you t-mobile, NJ Class, Capital One, Victoria's Secret...I'm trying to pay my bill!; writing yet another essay on why i should be granted this scholarship; unexpected costs - $500 retainer fees, $150 textbooks, losing security deposits; this phone that never stops ringing; litany of blood work and vaccinations and drug tests; drug tests; drug tests; that my parents generation failed to legalize marijuana; missing him and telling him; skin thats peeling from a burn that occurred 2 weeks ago; this sexual hiatus; going to the city instead of the beach; spending $60 bucks on gas this week and only having 1/4 tank left; $3.96 per gallon (i know - you all are already over $4); to-do lists that never seem to get any shorter; return my f-ing phone call!; wanting to stop when no one else is ready yet; that the cleaners ruined my most beautiful, favorite Nicole Miller dress; that i only got to wear it once..... 

UGH!

....that a decision has been made, with living arrangements, work environments, relationships; that there's nothing in the world where the melody is broken, there is always some way to make the silence be spoken; that my National tickets are on the way; that half of everything i own is going in the trash; fantastic program directors who actually provide guidance; that i feel the ground beneath my two solid feet; the perfect hourglass of my happiness; graduation gifts of champagne toasts and hot air balloon rides; spending a relaxing night in the city, with them, my best friends; crushes; the sexy silver shoes i scored for the wedding; the wedding!; listening to the sound of him sleep; sobriety; beach cruisers and long rides; soft baby pinches; their patience and understanding; existing in my bathing suit and sun dresses; that job connection with the World Health Organization; that he believes i am brilliant and beautiful; being by myself again; Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules; the taste of those memory kisses; that my daydreams are a masterpiece of textured paint